My Little Masterpiece

Embarrassing things that can happen to us all

From saying the most cringe-worthy things as you’re waiting in line at the supermarket, to having a poo explosion as you sit down to eat at a restaurant… kids have a wonderful knack of embarrassing us with their innocence.

Embarrassing things that can happen to us all

Here are some of the best revelations from parents who’ve shared their experiences online.


“My then two-year-old randomly told the man in the paper shop, ‘My mummy has a hairy bum’.”


“My daughter, now 24, was a master shoplifter when she was in a pushchair. Her biggest haul was some very expensive soap from Body Shop, along with a flannel.”


“When potty training, my daughter peed at the top of a slide. I watched in horror as it trickled down the entire length of it. I had to grab some napkins from the cafe and climb to the top of the steps, then slide down while simultaneously wiping up the offending wee. All the while trying (and failing) to retain a semblance of dignity. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life.”


“My daughter decided to strip completely naked, nappy and all, in the shop when I had my back turned for about five seconds. I only became aware when a lovely lady tapped me on my shoulder and whispered into my ear, ‘Excuse me, love, your child is dancing naked beside the potatoes’.”


“At a restaurant, my almost-2-year-old threw a piece of meat which landed in someone’s plate a few tables over. Thankfully the man was very understanding.”


“When my son was about a year old, he was ‘painting’ the table with guacamole at a Mexican restaurant. The waitress leaned over the table next to us and he grinned and slapped her on the bottom with his messy hand.”


“I was grocery shopping with my daughter, then 2(ish). She’s sitting in the cart and starts squinting one eye and yelling “Arrrrr” like a pirate. Does this a few times. I turn to pick something off the shelf and see a man behind me wearing an eyepatch.”


“Up until the age of 13 my son used to act like he was always being filmed for a reality TV show, no matter where he was or what he was doing.”


“My five-year-old told his dentist he loves Whisky and Coke.”


“We discovered that our four-year-old son was weeing in the corners of his room at night, when we asked him why he told us ‘the penis does what it wants to do’.”