My Little Masterpiece

Funny Parenting Quotes We Can All Relate To

Being a parent is a tough old job at times. But, in among the chaos, we need to find time to laugh – otherwise, we just might cry!

Funny Parenting Quotes We Can All Relate To

Here are a few funny quotes about parenting that I’m sure all mums and dads can relate to…


“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

“I finally had the talk with my kids… I told them that animals in the wild eat their young, so they’d better behave themselves.”

“Parenting was so much easier when I was hypothetically raising my non-existent child.”

“If evolution really works, how come mums and dads only have two hands?”

“When I tell my kids I’ll do something ‘in a minute’, what I really mean is ‘please forget’.”

“Iced coffee recipe: Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Drink coffee cold.”

“I love it when my kids tell me they’re bored. As if the person standing in front of a full sink of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time.”

“Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over, until you give in and throw them another snack.”

“Both of us can’t look good at the same time… it’s me or the house.”

“You know your life has changed when going to the supermarket by yourself feels like taking a holiday.”

“One day I will be thankful that my child is strong willed, but that will not be today.”

“My kids were all having fun and getting along, and that was the greatest two-and a-half-minutes of the entire summer.”

“The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so they can tell when they’re really in trouble.”

“Before I became a parent, I didn’t know I could ruin someone’s day by asking them to put pants on.”

“Hell hath no fury like a toddler whose sandwich was been cut into squares when they wanted triangles.”

“When your ‘mum’ voice is so loud that even your neighbours brush their teeth and get dressed.”

“At bedtime, all children become dehydrated philosophers who need a hug.”

“Being a parent is like folding a fitted sheet… no one really knows how.”