Kids say the funniest things

When you have a child you enter of world of non-stop amusement. With such wonderful innocence, children come out with the funniest things. Here are some that other parents have shared online to give you a giggle!


“I went to see a mortgage advisor with my seven-year-old son. As I sat at the desk, my son sat down and said to the man: ‘Hello, I am not her husband’.”


“My three-year-old daughter walked in on my husband using the toilet and said: ‘Daddy, put that thing back in your pants’.”


“I sat down to play with my four-year-old daughter at her dollhouse. I asked her which doll I could be and she told me I could be the one that does the dishes.”


“I told my children we were no longer going to use the phrase ‘shut up’, as it sounds mean and can hurt people’s feelings. A little later I heard my nine-year-old daughter turn round to her younger brother and say: ‘SILENCE you peasant’.”


“My seven-year-old boy asked me what a humanitarian was. His six-year-old sister stepped up with ‘like a vegetarian, but they eat humans’ as the answer.”


“My daughter told me the other day that I was her best friend until she actually got real-life friends.”


“When I was pregnant I asked my three-year-old if he wanted the baby to be a girl or a boy. He told me he wanted the baby to be Batman.”


“I asked my child if he wanted to make cookies, a cake or clay models today. He told me he wanted to make money.”


“My eight-year-old boy just announced that he needs to ‘man up and get a job’.”


“I’ve just been told by my three-year-old that I ruined her life.”