If you’ve been on a couple of dates with someone, only to discover that they’re not really the one for you, knowing how to tell them can be troublesome. However, you should definitely tell them. Ghosting is a rising trend, but a horrible one. If you’ve ever had someone you’ve dated or been close with just disappear without a word then you’ll know how awful it feels. This is where “The Text” comes in.
The Text is a message template which you can use to end things with someone, without hurting their feelings, and without leaving question marks over whether it is the end.
Here is the template:
“Hey! Hope that the [insert activity here] you were looking forward to went well. I enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know you the other night/over the past couple of weeks [delete as applicable], but I don’t think we’re right for each other. You’re a really great person, with a wonderful personality/brilliant sense of humour/real charm [delete as applicable] but I don’t want to lead you on. ”
This text is best used if you’ve only been on a few dates with someone, and not for anyone who you were in a real relationship with.
The Text can be varied, and absolutely should be, to suit your way of speaking and circumstances. There are a few main guidelines you should bear in mind.
First, The Text shouldn’t be too long in case the main point gets lost – that you think you two shouldn’t keep things going. Having said that, you should always include a compliment somewhere to soften the blow. These are two things that you should do.
Two things you shouldn’t do, don’t apologise and don’t send The Text immediately after a date. You shouldn’t send it straight after a date because it could then seem like you were just waiting for the date to end, and that will most certainly hurt. And why shouldn’t you apologise? Because you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just one of those things.